Don’t Grow Roots Amongst Decay

The beginning of October also marked the beginning of cuffing season. For those who may not be aware, cuffing season is a time when people embark on short term, “seasonal” relationships, during the winter months. These relationships may be with new individuals, or participants may return to previous relationships/situationships, referred to as “winter coating.”

With this in mind, I want to put a little bug in your ear: Do not grow roots amongst decay.

I previously made a post on social media where I shared, "situationships have holes...and often sink." In sticking with the ship analogy, allow me to elaborate.

Just like a ship with holes, a situationship can take the form of a relationship; however, there are a few essential things that would make it functional/healthy that are missing. Often times people enter into situationships because they like a person, and at least one party is "not ready for a relationship," but both parties are still interested in engaging in relationship type activities, so they create this non-committal, physical encounter, i.e. situation. Now, this physical encounter may not always be sexual, but it does involve some form of exchange that creates a closeness and a bond, which lacks commitment and/or an intended destination, amongst other things possibly (because people often engage in situations without really knowing the other person) - creating holes.  Eventually, those things that are missing begin to cause problems. Even if it's just one part of the ship/person, those holes/issues begin to sink the ship. 

Now, that in itself can be damaging enough, but it can go deeper... quite literally, in fact. Along with holes, an ill-maintained ship may also rot, and that rot may lead to decay. I’ve even seen a rotten ship left in the water with a tree growing through it. In the same way, people allow themselves to get caught up in situationships for long periods of time, years even, growing roots in something that is decayed. So even when they choose to "move on," they are still tied to that dead thing. And if you wanted to go deeper, we could talk about how to some it may still look beautiful on the surface...but that's a post for another day.

I don't know about you, but I desire my ship to be healthy, strong and sailing towards a beautiful destination. That requires building a strong foundation with myself first, and then the other person, and having an intended path charted. Even if we don't reach the destination together, we will be able to continue heading towards our separate destinations whole, and not hole-y...just a thought.